Brush Up Your Chekhov

(This was written by Cal Shakes house staffer Carol Marshall, and is meant to be sung to the tune of the late, great, Cole Porter's "Brush Up Your Shakespeare," from the musical Kiss Me Kate.)

Living in today's society
Can cause one a lot of anxieties

We need something to cling to
That will somehow... always ring true

Feeling a little disillusioned and lost?
Reaching for a vodka and a sawn-off?

There's a certain Russian gadabout,
who will teach you what it's all about..

Brush up your Chekhov
Start quoting him soon
Brush up your Chekhov
cause life ain't no cheery show tune

There always seems to be guns,
and no one is having much fun

Just sell the damned estate already...
I am sure it would fetch a pretty penny

Sonya, you really are a hero
Even though your future may look less than zero

But forget about the doctor my dear,
His arm he will exercise I fear

And your Uncle... what's his name...
Can he just stop finding others to blame

Forests, guns and butter,
they all start to look like one anutter....

Brush up your Chekhov
it all cuts close to home
(I don't mean avenues)
Cause it all cuts close to home
(under the sun there ain't no news)
Cause it all cuts close to home

Marriage, death, and depression
And day to day life processions

Maybe the Three Sisters should finally move
and Yelena just have your little interlude

I am a Seagull ... wait ... no I'm not...
Da ... things just didn't turn out like you thought!

Remember the Czar is still in power
And the serfs aren't being paid by the hour

So even if you all still sit on your ass
A certain die has been cast...

Brush up your Chekhov
'Cause the revolution was close at hand
(I don't mean the Beatles)
'Cause the revolution was close at hand
(you know the big sickle)
'Cause the revolution was close at hand

Ivanov ... Dude!!! Don't do it
I am sure you can still pull through it

Feeling overwhelmed by what's on ya?
Remember it's nothing compared with Vanya ...

Cherry Orchard I never saw that one
But it sure sounds like a lota fun!

Brush up your Chekhov, cause there ain't no news under the sun!
just keep looking... cause there ain't no news under the sun!

(End with leg kicks and smashing a glass of vodka!!)